Wednesday, December 8, 2010

[LIFE] how to be an ass in social networking

There are a number of excellent how-to guides on the Internet, so, in the spirit of brotherhood, I thought I'd add my own bit to the sum total of all human knowledge. Bit by bit, I'll be elaborating on the skills I've developed in my particular areas of expertise. Today's topic is "how to be an ass in social networking." It's actually a rather simple two-step process that anyone can master overnight.

Step 1 -- Preparation: Before you embark on the specific method described in step 2, it's worth asking yourself "why do I want to be an ass in social networking?" Maybe you don't! There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be an ass in social networking; it doesn't mean you're inferior to the rest of us. In fact, some[wtf? who?] would argue that you are more likely to be a kind and thoughtful person if you refrain from being an ass in social networking. In any case, if you are going to try and be an ass in social networking, it should be because of a genuine, honest, heartfelt desire to be an ass. Simply being an ass to blend in with the people you respect doesn't cut it in social networking.

Step 2 -- Get Real: The very best way to be an ass in social networking is simple, effective, and takes close to zero effort. Simply tell people your "brutally" honest opinion on any matter. It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone's frank opinion on any matter is guaranteed to cause offense. You have managed to avoid causing offense thus far only because you have subconsciously and unknowingly squelched your honest opinion on virtually everything simply to avoid being an ass. All you have to do is take conscious control of your opinion and eliminate the "filter" that converts your honest opinions into socially acceptable ones. Almost everyone who uses this method quickly discovers that they are a "natural" at it.

So, guys, hope you enjoyed my post, it's been "how to be an ass in social networking" by zerosum42.

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